Today I went to what I expected to be a social game of badminton. I turned up late (as usual) and eventually get teamed with my friend Ned (not his real name) against two other guys;
Ned: “you know how to play right?”
Me: “err yeah sure”
Ned: “okay lets do back and forth”
Me <blank look>
Ned: “you go front and I go back, then we swap”
So anyway, we play like this but I hadn’t played in years and I kept missing the shot, or not knowing where he expected me to be, or not knowing when it was my turn to serve. And everytime I did something like that I he would berate me about what I should have done and then grunt and sigh in frustration.
Looking back this was just the kind of situation which could have created self blame in this mind; that I should be playing better. But in reality, I was putting a genuine effort but I could only really play what I could play, if the effort put didn’t create champion badmintoning then there was nothing else I could do about it, the outcome was truly beyond self control and all I could do was accept that.
Ned eventually got so frustrated that at the end of the game he refused to team with anyone anymore and said he only plays singles, and then he didn’t even do that and eventually just went home. I felt some sympathy for him but there seemed little I could do to help, hence there was no value in there being regret in this mind. I guess there was a little bit of dukkha associated to his behavior but I think far less than there could have been.
Has anyone else been in this type of situation?
